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Bitter Wild Page 19
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John appeared in his bedroom doorway a moment later. He had a glass of water in one hand and two pills in the other. He handed them to her before going to the door. Casey swallowed the pills and leaned over to set the glass on the table as John opened the door. She jerked upright as she heard her brother curse.
“What the hell do you want?”
Her heart did a crazy flip-flop as she heard Jack’s voice.
“I need to talk to Casey.”
“She’s tired. You can talk to her tomorrow.”
Casey called out to him. “It’s okay, John. Let him in.”
She could see the tension in her brother’s body. He was still furious with Jack. He still thought the worst of him. He backed out of the way, though, and she made a mental note to remember to thank him for always being there for her when she needed him. She struggled to sit up straighter as Jack stepped into the room. His eyes came to her immediately and she saw him glance at her, then at John once more. For the first time all night, she saw a hint of uncertainty in his eyes. Inexplicably, she felt a need to comfort him, to take that disquiet away. Before she could, someone else appeared at the door. The waiter obviously picked up on the tension in the room. He looked uneasy as he announced that he had their room service order. John invited him to bring the tray in, telling him to put it on the low table in front of Casey. John gave him a tip and hustled him out the door as quickly as he could manage. Then he came straight to Casey’s side.
At that moment, Casey felt a little bit like a bone lying on the ground between two aggressive dogs. As if on cue, Chance decided to make his presence known. He’d been lying on the floor beside Casey, but he rose and slowly walked to Jack. After a momentary pause, Chance stepped forward and nudged Jack’s hand with his head. Casey watched as Jack bent to stroke the dog.
“Hey, Chance. I should have known you’d be right by your mistress’s side.”
Jack straightened and Chance came back to Casey. She cleared her throat and motioned toward the chair directly across the table from her.
“Why don’t you sit down?”
Jack moved toward the chair, again glancing between her and John. He stopped at the chair, started to sit, then straightened again.
“Look, could we talk alone?”
She saw John tense. Casey reached out to touch his arm, drawing his gaze to her. “I’ll be okay.”
He didn’t want to go. He didn’t want to leave her side when he knew her emotions had already been stretched to the breaking point. He wouldn’t argue with her, though. At least she hoped he wouldn’t. She watched as he took a step toward Jack.
“Don’t you dare hurt her.”
Casey ached for the pain she heard in her brother’s voice. He was so angry with Jack because he knew she loved him and that she’d been broken hearted when he turned his back on her. She reached for her brother as he walked past her. He caught her hand and bent to kiss her cheek.
“You call if you need me.”
She nodded, then wiped at the moisture in her eyes as he walked away. She heard his bedroom door close quietly and then lifted her gaze to Jack as he spoke.
“He loves you very much.”
Casey nodded. “Yes, he does. I don’t know how I would have survived the past year and a half without him.”
“I do too, you know.”
Casey froze. She had no trouble seeing emotion in his eyes now. They were full of it. He still hadn’t sat down. He was standing there, his hands clasping and unclasping at his side, his eyes almost boring into her as he poured everything he felt into his gaze.
“I think I’ve loved you from the moment you jabbed me in the chest with your finger and told me they’d never find my body if I killed your dog.”
Casey couldn’t draw the breath to speak. She shook her head, almost afraid to believe he was actually saying what her ears were hearing. He moved then, coming toward her and sitting on the corner of the table right beside the tray of food. He reached out, grasping one of her hands as if he was afraid she’d try to get up and run away.
“I know it’s crazy. God, we couldn’t be less alike if we came from different planets. But the fact is, I love you and I think you love me, too. And in the end, that’s all that matters. We can find a way to deal with everything else.”
His gaze shifted to the door John had disappeared through, then came back to her.
“If you love him, tell me so and I’ll go. But I need to hear you say it. I need to know there’s no chance at all for us or I’ll go insane wondering what might have been.”
Casey was now too shocked to speak. She blinked as her mind slowly grasped what Jack was thinking, what he must have been thinking from the moment they’d met. She shook her head, tightening her grip on his hand when he misunderstood and started to pull away.
“You must be the biggest idiot in the world.”
Jack blinked in surprise. Whatever he’d expected, this wasn’t it. Of course, he never even dreamed of the next stunner she dropped on him.
“John is my brother.”
Jack figured, at that moment, a light breeze would have knocked him over. He stared at her, half wondering if maybe he’d imagined that she’d just told him the man he’d spent the past three months being jealous of was her brother. Maybe she’d said lover. The two words were close enough that he might have misunderstood, if he were in the middle of a hurricane, in the pitch black, with a half dozen jet airplanes flying rings around his head. He shook his head.
“You don’t look anything alike.” So much for wit. Stating the obvious was starting to be a real problem when he was in her presence.
“No, we don’t.”
Jack finally started believing it. He thought back on every moment he’d seen the two of them together, every interaction, and it all made perfect sense. Everything except his own idiotic determination to deny himself the woman he loved.
“Okay, so I’m an idiot. But I still love you.”
Casey was afraid to let the emotion in her heart out. This was everything she’d been wanting since the moment she realized she loved him. She was wary, though, afraid of where it might take them both.
“Jack, I don’t know what to say. I thought I did, but now I’m not sure.”
“I am. I’ve spent every second since I left you being miserable. In my entire life, I’ve never felt about any woman the way I feel about you. That day on the cliff, when I saw you go over that edge I could have sworn my heart turned to stone in my chest. I was so afraid you were dead, so horrified by the idea that you’d done it for me. I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t survived. I don’t think I could have lived with it. Hell, I don’t think I can live without you at all. I’m at peace with you. You fill some void inside me that I didn’t even know was there. Every day, I wake up wondering what you’re doing. I wonder if you think about me. I wonder if you hate me for leaving you.”
He shook his head. “I thought I was being noble. I figured John could give you something I couldn’t. He was from your world. He already fit into it. I told myself that’s what you needed, but I was wrong. Because I love you more than anyone or anything in this world. I would have died for you that day. I was ready to let Jester kill me, if it would give John and Stan a chance to save you. And it wasn’t a job or a duty. It was a need to make sure you would be safe, to protect you from that bastard by any means necessary. I love you, Casey. Please tell me you haven’t stopped loving me.”
Casey couldn’t stand it any longer. Tears had come into her eyes and she reached out for him, needing to feel his arms around her. He dropped to his knees on the floor in front of her and pulled her to his chest.
“I was so sure you didn’t want me. I knew you weren’t looking for any kind of commitment, especially with someone like me. I told myself I didn’t care, that I’d take you on your terms and never regret it, but it broke my heart when you left without a word.”
Jack leaned back to feather kisses across her face. “Forgive me f
or being so cruel.” He looked into her eyes. “If you’ll trust me with your heart again, I swear I’ll never, ever give you reason to regret it. I’ll never hurt you like that again, Casey. I’d rather die than cause you pain.”
He kissed her and Casey let go of all the grief that had plagued her for so long. This was where she belonged, in Jack Hall’s arms. No matter where he was, she would make her home at his side. When he pulled away from her several seconds later, they were both breathless. He looked into her face, his hands stroking her hair.
“I have missed you so much.”
“Me, too. And just so there’s no doubt. I do love you, Jack. And I’ll go wherever you go. I’ll move here, though we’ll have to find someplace where Chance can run. And then there’s Bullet, I can’t leave him behind.”
Jack laid a finger against her lips to silence her. “You won’t move anywhere. I’ve seen you in those woods. They’re a part of your soul. I would never take them away from you. I may be a city boy, but I’ll learn to live in the country.”
Casey frowned. “Oh, Jack, you’ll go crazy. I’ve told you before, there’s nothing to do. No current movies, no restaurants to speak of.”
“I haven’t been to a movie or a show in the past three months and the only restaurants I’ve frequented are ones that provide takeout. I found out in a hurry that none of it meant anything to me. I thought I loved the city, but the truth is, it was just busy enough to keep me from realizing how lonely I was. The only thing I want is you.”
He kissed her again and Casey couldn’t hold back her tears. He kissed her closed eyes, wiping at the tears falling down her cheeks. She wanted to stay in his arms forever, to just revel in his kiss and his embrace. But she couldn’t forget the reason she’d come to Washington in the first place. She leaned away from him and Jack let her go.
“Jack, there’s something else I need to tell you.”
Jack heard the tension in her voice and felt his stomach clench in response. She met his gaze, twining her fingers with his.
“I didn’t really come to Washington to get the award. I came to see you, to tell you something.”
She paused, clearly unsure of what to say next. She drew a deep breath and hurried on, as if she felt compelled to get it all out in one breath. “I didn’t lie to you, Jack, I promise. The doctors really did tell me that I wouldn’t be able to have children. Except, a few weeks after I woke up in the hospital I started getting sick and the doctor ran some tests and, well, I’m pregnant.”
She stopped suddenly, apparently unable to think of anything else to say. Jack thought he’d already been just about as surprised as he could be, but this really wasn’t something he’d even dared to anticipate. A child. His child. It was thrilling and terrifying all at the same time. He instantly worried what kind of father he’d make. He imagined playing ball with a son, then felt a fresh wave of terror at the thought of having a beautiful little girl. A little girl with all her mother’s spirit and fire. He could see it in his mind and as unnerving as it was, he knew it was the most wonderful thing he could ever hope for.
Casey didn’t know what to think when he just stared at her and didn’t say a word. She waited for him to speak, to say something, anything, then finally gave in and started talking again herself.
“I know you weren’t expecting this. I know it’s a shock and I’ll understand if you need some time to get used to the idea. I didn’t come here to try to force you into anything, I just wanted you to know. You have a right to know you’re going to be a father.”
He seemed to snap out of his daze suddenly. He leaned forward and kissed her, stopping her rambling instantly. When he let her go a few moments later, he lowered his gaze to her belly. He reached out to touch her and she covered his hand with hers as her heart melted in her chest. There were tears in his eyes.
“A baby.”
She nodded. “Our baby.”
He lifted his gaze to her and his mouth spread into a wide grin. “I’m gonna be a daddy.”
Casey nodded again, then laughed when he wrapped her in his arms and kissed every inch of her face. He was working his way down her neck when a throat cleared loudly behind Casey. She turned to look at her brother over her shoulder. His eyes were suspiciously moist.
“Sorry to interrupt, but my stomach is acutely aware that there’s food in here and it’s insisting that I feed it.” He met Casey’s gaze. “You need to eat, too.”
Her stomach rumbled in answer and she had to laugh. Jack met her gaze, smiling. “Brings back memories.”
She gave him a sly grin. “You have no idea.”
He gave her a puzzled look, but she didn’t explain herself. Instead she sat up a little straighter and motioned for her brother to come into the room.
“Come on, John. I know how cranky you get when you’re hungry.”
John came around the couch, snorting. “Hah, you think I’m cranky, you ought to take a look in the mirror sometime. There’s nothing worse than a pregnant woman on hormone overload.”
Casey shot him a narrow look while Jack got to his feet and perched on the couch beside her.
“How do you know I’ve told him about that? You might have spoken out of turn.”
John shook his head. “Give me a little credit. I’ve been listening at the door the whole time.”
Casey gasped, then pulled the pillow out from under her leg and threw it at him. “I can’t believe you.”
John easily deflected the pillow. “I wasn’t about to just go wait patiently to see what happened. You are my baby sister after all.”
He fixed Jack with an incredulous look. “I can’t believe you didn’t know.”
Jack shook his head. “I’m not the only one who made the mistake. Skip never guessed the truth, either.”
Casey watched her brother shake his head. “The two of you don’t exactly do much for my faith in the government.”
Jack shrugged. “No one ever mentioned you were siblings, and you’ll admit that you don’t share much in the way of family resemblance. It was obvious you were closer than friends so the only other logical conclusion was that you had to be romantically involved.”
John still looked disbelieving. “Yeah, well maybe you should have taken a hint from the first conclusion you leapt to regarding Casey and just put your conclusion jumping on hiatus.” He waved at Casey. “She’s a woman and I’m her brother.”
Jack figured he could stand some ribbing, considering all he’d gained in the past minutes. He shrugged. “Like I said earlier. Maybe I am an idiot.”
John studied him for a long moment before finally shaking his head. “Not so much of an idiot that you don’t have enough sense to love my sister.” He stepped forward and offered Jack his hand. “Welcome to the family.”
Jack stood and took John’s hand. He’d given it a firm shake when John leaned forward a bit, fixing him with a hard look. “Just make sure you keep her happy. I’d hate to have to kick your ass in front of your kid.”
Jack returned his gaze. “I’ll make her happy if it’s the last thing I do. If I don’t, then you can kick my ass all you like.”
“I’ll remember you said that.” John clapped Jack on the shoulder, then turned to the tray of food. “Now, how about we get down to business and take in some chow?”
He lifted the lid off one plate, frowned at it, then put the lid back and lifted the other lid. He sighed as he spied the large steak. “Lord, I love beef.”
He pulled the chair closer to the table, then nodded to Casey. “You best eat, too.” He shot Jack a look. “Tell her to eat. She’s been so hyped up all day that she’s barely eaten anything at all.”
Casey sighed as Jack asked if that was good for the baby. “I can see that the two of you are going to mother me to death before this is over with.”
She leaned over and pulled the tray closer. She lifted the lid off her plate and was mildly surprised to realize she actually was hungry. The pasta salad she’d had John order for her suddenly di
dn’t look like it would be enough. She glanced at Jack. “You know, I think I’d really love a hamburger. Would you mind ordering one for me? And some chocolate mint ice cream if they have it. Just plain chocolate if they don’t. You might as well get yourself something, too.”
Jack arched a brow at her as she began to dig into the bowl of pasta that had been hiding beneath the silver dome. John snorted. “Get used to it. The cravings have already started to hit her hard. She’s hungry all the time and sometimes for the weirdest things.”
Jack leaned over to kiss Casey’s cheek. “She’s eating for two. She can have whatever she wants.”
He got up and headed for the phone, ordering a couple of hamburgers with everything as well as some fries and a bowl of chocolate mint ice cream. He went back to Casey’s side and laughed as she finished off the pasta, then downed most of the glass of water that had come with the food. She turned to offer Jack a drink and he took the glass, nodding to the small covered bowl that sat on the tray as he lifted the glass to his lips.
“What’s that?”
He was in the middle of swallowing when Casey answered. “Peaches, for dessert. But I think I’ll save them for later.”
Jack couldn’t keep from spewing a mouthful of water halfway across the room.
Contents
EPILOGUE
Jack leaned against the fence railing and watched as John worked the horse in the paddock. Jack had come a long way since retiring from the FBI and moving to the ranch. He could handle a horse a heck of a lot better than he had when he’d followed Casey into those woods months earlier. He’d managed to prove himself fairly useful, learning to handle the ranch with enough skill to not make a complete fool of himself. He’d learned early that it wasn’t nearly as boring as he’d imagined. And it had helped when Stan Pritchard asked him to join the sheriff’s department. These days, Jack was far more content than he imagined anyone had any right to be. Stan had told him just the week before that he meant to retire the following year and that he hoped Jack would be willing to take his place.